Steady Hands
by lumoscrimsom
Summary: Sirius is tired of being recognised as a Black, so he asks Remus to cut his hair.


**Disclaimer: **It ain't mine, biatches.

**A/N: **Okay, so this is still me sitting in the library and trying to write my personal statement. Come on, how many times does a girl have to try before she gives up and starts writing puppy fics? Once. Exactly, once. God, I shouldn't be allowed into uni…

**Steady Hands**

"Sit there." Remus said gently, pointing the business end of the scissors a stool stood before the large mirror over the sinks. Sirius did as he was told and sat. Remus tucked the scissors into the belt on his jeans and bent to retrieve an old sheet on the bathroom floor. He tied it around Sirius' neck, watching the other boy discretely. Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet, allowing Remus to finish tying the sheet and check that it covered his clothes without fidgeting once or making any inappropriate jokes. When he was finished with the preparations, Remus stood back and swallowed nervously.

"Are you certain you want me to do this?" he asked warily.

Sirius looked up at him with hard eyes and nodded, "Yes. Cut it all off."

Remus nodded mutely and pulled the scissors from his belt as he stepped forward to take the first piece of Sirius' hair in his fingers. He stood like that for a moment, brushing his thumb over the silky softness of the once-cherished strands, before lifting the scissors and cutting with a harsh _snip_. Sirius flinched, but nodded again, signalling for Remus to continue.

"Not everyone is like her." Remus said softly, listening to the scissors sounds as they sliced through strand after strand, "Don't you think this is a little extreme?"

"Hair grows back." Sirius dismissed his eyes on the chunks of black hair on the sheet and on the floor around the stool. Yes, Remus thought dimly, hair does grow back, but this is more than hair for you, isn't it Sirius? It was about cutting the final tie from his family and getting rid of one of the Blacks' most defining features, after their sharp cheekbones and aristocratic way of speaking.

"You'll still be the one all the girls want." Remus murmured, almost to himself rather than Sirius, "You'll still be popular, still be handsome. Your hair doesn't define who you are."

"I just want to be someone else." Sirius whispered, his voice breaking on the last word. Remus felt his heart break a little and stopped cutting for a moment to meet Sirius' forlorn eyes in the mirror.

"You'll find someone who loves you for who you are and not for your name." he assured the broken boy, laying a hand on his shoulder comfortingly, "This was just a bad relationship and a worse break up. She didn't mean anything she said; she just wanted to hurt you."

"I can't believe that when every girl who I've been with after my parents disowned me has said the same things." Sirius said, lowering his eyes from Remus', who continued with his task quietly, "Money, name, status. That's all they want."

"Not everyone is like that." Remus repeated, "James loves you and so do his parents. I love you."

"Can I marry you, Moony?" Sirius joked weakly, before dropping his smile flatly and continuing, "People don't want me when I'm not a proper Black. I'm nothing with-without…" he faltered and trailed off, not wanting to admit that he needed his parents, so he substituted, "I'm nothing without…my hair."

"I think you're wonderful without your hair." Remus smiled encouragingly as he finished shortening the length of Sirius' hair and started to style it, "Sure, I liked it when it was long, but change is good, too. It can bring out a different person in you. A better person, perhaps."

Sirius was quite for a long while as Remus worked, his brow furrowed and his nose wrinkled in the way it did when he was thinking hard about something. When he finally spoke again, he made Remus jump. "Where did you learn to cut hair, Moony?"

"My family are poor, Pads." Remus answered matter-of-factly, "My mother used to do mine and then taught me for later life because…you know, I won't be making much money if any at all."

"You make my problems seem so stupid." Sirius laughed humourlessly.

"Everyone's problems seem like they're the most devastating thing in the world, mountains towering over you which are too tall to overcome." Remus nodded wisely, "Just because someone else's mountain looks bigger than yours from where you're standing, it doesn't mean yours isn't any easier climb."

"Wise Moony." Sirius said with a quiet smile as he watched Remus working in the mirror, "My wise Moony."

Remus glanced at Sirius' reflection, pausing at the other boy's words, but continued to work again without questioning him. "There, finished." He announced, untying the sheet and whipping it off Sirius' shoulders and brushing his clothes for any stray hairs. Remus quickly vanished the cut hair as Sirius twisted and turned his head to see his hair with a small smile.

"Thank you, it looks good." He said, turning to smile at Remus, the expression the most genuine it had been in a long time, "I could never do it myself, my hands shake too much."

Remus put the scissors down on the counter and patted Sirius on the back, "Are you going to stop moping around now?" he asked teasingly, "You know, if you wanted your hair cut so badly, you could have just asked."

Sirius laughed, the sound a welcome one to Remus' ears, and pulled Remus into a tight embrace, the gesture filled with thanks, grief and so much more that – at that moment in time – neither boy could put their finger on. When they pulled apart, it was to give each other a smile that guaranteed a promising future.


End file.
